Challenge #1: Scrooge
I am realizing now what I have gotten myself into and that it is going to be a much longer 3 months than I anticipated. It is by far one of the most challenging things I've done creatively and professionally, but that was something I knew about ahead of time and was excited about. But it is going to be quite taxing emotionally and require amounts of patience that I have never known myself to possess. I know that God is bringing all these trials so that I will never be able to say that I did this on my own strength or in my own timing, but it is still a huge mountain that brings me to tears when I have to think about climbing it.
Challenge #2: Relationship Issues
It is a much bigger challenge to get over Adam's break up with me than I thought it would be. I cannot fully distance myself from him, and that only leads to more hurts. I struggle to find new friends and to get out and do things, especially on my own. All I've known for almost 2 years is being with Adam and staying home to talk to him online. I'm not opposed to going out with someone else, but it's not like I have someone interested. Most people are already in relationships of their own. And those things provide their own sets of hurts. I'm at a time in my life when it is fine to be single and most people are encouraging me in that but the bottom line is that I want to settle down and I think I'm ready for that and for a year now I've had a boyfriend who was leading me on in that direction and with whom I was making plans. It's hard to just let that go and face a big empty slate.
Challenge #3: Luna
There is so much riding on this and all of it boils down to how well I'm working with Luna. That's a lot of pressure on em. And even though I know that I could keep Luna as a pet, it would still mean starting over at Square One and that would be hard for me to handle emotionally, to get tentatively attached to yet another dog. Especially after seeing how hard it has been to come this far with Luna. It's just a tough road on top of everything else. I'm second guessing the timing of all this.
Challenge #4: Work
The job itself certainly isnt a challenge, but everything else connected to it certainly is. It's hard to remember that even if it is for only 15 minute increments, I am to be a witness to my coworkers. More often than not, that is really hard. The things these women say and do, especially in regards to each other, is sometimes pretty bad and I can easily get stuck in the middle. I need an awful lot of wisdom about what to say and when to not say anything and how to show Christ and His love to these people that I don't really even want to be around. And also with the job just comes a unique need for responsibility with a schedule that is always different and duties that are always changing. I have to really use the rest of the time wisely to fit in everything else that is required like walks, Scrooge, and Luna's training. And I really want to make an effort to have my Bible Study be the one things that does not get put off. It's become too important to me and I want to keep it that way.
Challenge #5: Friends
I lost my extraverted personality and socialite status when I lost my hearing. It's very much a challenge for me to go out and meet people and initiate conversations and take an active role in making friends. But I need friends - I need good friends, friends that aren't Adam - and God hasn't seen fit to just drop them in front of me. Maybe this time He wants me to take matters into my own hands so that He can teach me something from it. Sigh.
Well, that is all that I can think of right now. But it is certainly enough. I guess I know better now how to focus prayers, and also what to ask people to pray for me about. Now that they are here in print, the next step will be to see how I move past each one. It could be terribly exciting, so stay tuned.
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